i've been sewing. trying to sew through the absence of him. i'm still finishing the quilts that i made with him. the edgar quilts. this is one of them, the one listed on etsy. and i'm wrapped up in mine right now, the one i kept. it's our new favorite quilt.
i haven't found my way just yet. i'm still struggling through. but the fabrics are keeping me focused. there are several quilts on the go. i delivered a stack of them yesterday to megan for her to make them magical with her wonderful quilting. it lifted my spirits, driving through the sun on a cold day. the back country roads. the warm sweet smell of farm in the air. her happy and rosy cheeked girls just awake from their naps excited to show me their own special quilts. the woodstove pumping heat into the cozy farmhouse kitchen. and looking at the quilts she's working on. megan sells on etsy as well. here's the link to her shop
stella is curled up against me, sleeping in the folds of the quilt. she has made it her mission to stay by my side. she misses him. she finds his blankets and presses her face into them like i do. she is a warm little soul all soft and sad. so we pass the early morning together, waiting for the daylight when i'll go across the yard and sew.