the winter despair that was beginning to creep into everything i did has been eased. i have the sweet humid air of jamaica to thank for it. and my husband with his wonderful idea of travelling to get some sun this year. i have spent the past decade refusing to fly, terrified at the idea. although i lived the first 30 years of my life flitting happily about the globe, something broke in me and i could no longer do it. tom has been trying to get me to go somewhere as long as i've known him, and i always refused. but this time, thanks to some sound advice from sheila coupled with the self knowledge to realize i could not hold on to this fear forever, i finally agreed to vacation with my husband. i was filled with dread and didn't know how i'd actually go through with it. but here we are, after a lovely smooth flight. and i think the spell may be over. my broken spot healed. and walking on the beach with my man, the warmth of the sun on my skin and my bare feet in the sand in january.....it's fabulous.