i'm happy. pretty much all the time. i love my husband, my job, my home and my friends & family. i'm opinionated. i usually say what i think. and whether or not anyone else does, i think i'm hilarious when i'm loud and bitchy. when i'm annoyed, i don't keep it to myself. yet i usually get over it pretty quickly. as i was on the porch making a quilt this afternoon, i was thinking about my personal contentment and where it comes from. and i found a cheesy little parallel in my quilt. i sew hundreds of random scraps together to make a quilt top. i don't try to make the quilt look good. i don't plan out the fabrics. or even choose the fabrics based on color or pattern or how i think they'll work together. the fabrics randomly surface and end up beside each other. they simply find their way into the quilt. i know they are right and that the quilt will be beautiful because i'm confident in my fabric collection. and this really does parallel the little life we have created, tom and i. i don't let doubts or fear or the need to be perceived a particular way interfere with how we live. it just happens. life swirls around me and i follow my instincts and work hard and come from a truly personal perspective.....making choices that work and make us happy, as opposed to choices that look like they work. and i think that's why i'm happy.
i rarely rant here, but i've been thinking about this all afternoon. and it may be too late for this to be making any sense. so off i go to bed!